Category Archives: (8) Mental health

Wild

I had started reading Wild by Cheryl Strayed shortly after I was diagnosed with cancer – just as I began chemotherapy. Unfortunately, that didn’t go over too well. Reading about her mother dieing of cancer left me with thoughts of my death and how difficult that would be on my loved ones. I was overcome… Read More »

Driving and a glass of wine

Today marks a transition. I’ve been off the narcotic pain meds for over 24 hours, and I’m not feeling any sense of apprehension about movement in my upper body. As far as the plastic surgeon is concerned, my breast flaps have healed (the skin/scars need work, but the flaps themselves are fine). With full motion… Read More »

Breasts that aren’t breasts

Over the last couple of days I’ve been reflecting on how I now have breasts that aren’t breasts. It is an odd thing really. They look like breasts. To the external toucher, they feel like breasts (or so my husband tells me). The nipples don’t react to anything, because at the moment they don’t have… Read More »

Everything yet nothing is cancer

At this stage every ache causes me to question, then dismiss cancer. My first thought is, is this cancer? Has it spread … and then my logical brain jumps in and says no, this is not cancer … so in some ways, everything feels like cancer, yet nothing feels like cancer. I did get some… Read More »

See-saw days

I think the hardest part of surgical recovery are the see-saw days. What I mean by that is the constant change between days where you are seeing significant improvements and days were you are feeling significantly worse … and day-after-day the ups-and-downs become more and more challenging. Now I’m have see-saw aspects to the days.… Read More »

Crying and TV

I sometimes need to just cry. It has been awhile since I’ve had that feeling. It used to be that my eyes would plug up (they produce goopy oils that don’t always clear on their own) – so a cry would help that out. The cry also helps with processing feelings – it just feels… Read More »

I look good but … and real hugs

I look good but I feel like crap. Actually, mentally I feel good. I took a higher dose of drugs last night (and more melatonin) so I slept better than I’ve slept in a while. Unfortunately, I’m having another side effect – at least that is what we think it is – we think it… Read More »

And then there was one …

I was really hoping to have both my drains pulled today, but truth be told, neither had output low enough to warrant being pulled (close by not quite). I do wonder if it had more do with my mental health than anything else; when, they did remove one of the remaining abdominal drains. So, now… Read More »

A nice walk … but I’m tired …

I need to slow down a little. I was chatting with the nurse from our insurance company yesterday. She asked, ‘how much are you walking, 10, 15 minutes?’ … I’m like, 1-2 hours … it’s a bit of a different scale. In some ways, I’m far exceeding where I should be at this point. I’m… Read More »