Tag Archives: fear

Everything yet nothing is cancer

At this stage every ache causes me to question, then dismiss cancer. My first thought is, is this cancer? Has it spread … and then my logical brain jumps in and says no, this is not cancer … so in some ways, everything feels like cancer, yet nothing feels like cancer. I did get some… Read More »

New energy means renewed ability to get stressed …

My energy returns and I’m stuck with the daunting task of prioritizing all the things on my to do list – all those things that I’ve been avoiding or just plain not doing because I could not concentrate, or did not have the energy. Now I’m finding myself so crazy overwhelmed with a to do… Read More »

Pathology – What it means …

I’ve gotten pretty good at interpreting what the pathology reports say, but I’m not great at what it means. Just before my oncologist walked into the room I said to Scott – “what I’m afraid of is that he will recommend more chemotherapy”. My oncologist walked into the room and said that he would be… Read More »

My first Pink’tober

If you haven’t noticed yet, October is breast cancer awareness month. It is a month full of tacky fundraisers in the name of breast cancer awareness. I cannot say that I really noticed pinktotober before, it had no meaning in my life. I believe March is cancer awareness month – the month when daffodils are… Read More »

Flexibility … and some good news …

One thing I can say for certain, the cancer journey is anything but predictable. I had all of these plans made based upon when my chemo dates would finish … and now things are going to get crazy again. My first appointment this morning was with radiation oncology. I saw a resident who was clearly… Read More »

Today’s side-effect – cognitive numbness

I was fine this morning. I woke up feeling pretty good, but have since experienced a cognitive decline. I did get out to run a few errands, which involved driving. I was fine when I first set out, but not doing too well by the time I got home about 90-minutes later. After my bike… Read More »

And so Paclitaxol (Taxol) has begun as have the hot flashes

It occurs to me that after next weeks infusion I will be half way through chemotherapy. I’ve finished what for most people is the worst of it, AC chemo, and am now on Paclitaxol (taxol for short). Going into the infusion yesterday I was scared. I was afraid of the side effects of the new… Read More »

Fear of the unknown

One of the challenges with cancer is that you often required to deal with the unknown. My approach to managing fear of the unknown has been preparation. I have tried my best to physically prepare myself for treatment, so that I can bounce back and managed the unknowns ahead – specially the unknown about how… Read More »